On The Doorstep

My summer of fun, my summer of cramming two summer's worth of fun into one summer, is slowly coming to an end. After spending another amazing week at Camp Can Do and a few days cleaning up the aftermath from 2 dogs and a hubby left alone for 8 days, I finally ventured in to my new school to see my new room.

My first day back always follows the same pattern, and I liken it to the first day of class when I got my syllabus. I would stare blankly at the pages covered in assignments, feel slightly like I was going to throw up, and wonder what in the world I got myself into.

Thursday was pretty much the same. After signing for my new keys and swipe card, I headed through the main hallway, down the flight of steps, and padded down the 4th grade hallway to my classroom. I stepped inside, set my things down, and looked around. I walked over to the window and put up the blinds. I looked around.

A desk.
An American flag.
2 two-drawer filing cabinets.
1 long table.
25 desks.
6 two-self metal book cases.
A flag.
An electric pencil sharpener.
2 trash cans and a recycle bin.
Two and a half skids worth of boxes piled in the corner.

I sat down at my desk and tried to set-up my voicemail box. Didn't work. I walked over to the storage area and opened every drawer and cupboard. I propped myself up on the table and looked around. I went back to my car and got the personal stuff to set up my desk and brought it back to the room. I sat some more. I literally spun in circles a few times. I walked up and down the hallway peeking in classrooms and seeing what others have already done since I'm about a week behind. I went back to my room and thought, "What in the WORLD have I gotten myself into?"

Then I got changed, helped with an orientation tour for some of our 4th graders, grabbed my purse and went home feeling completely overwhelmed.

This happens every year, although with a new building, classroom and grade level, the fear, nervousness and pit in my stomach seem to have shown up on a much grander scale. The good news is that since it happens every year I know what to do. I go to school, I have my moment, and I go home. When I go back on Monday I will be ready to tackle those boxes and set up a classroom that will work best for me and my students.

I'm on the doorstep of a new school year, and I have no idea what will happen when I cross that threshold.