Monday, October 11, 2010

Frustrated

We had an inservice day today. I don't dread them as much as I used to mainly because I have some say in what happens on those days. This morning was fantastic. There were new people working on my committee, and these individuals were more open to looking at alternate types of assessments rather than just making kids do paper / pencil tests. I left feeling really excited and pumped up about what we had accomplished throughout the morning.

My district is opening a new building next year. No small feat by any means, but this one is especially challenging because we are creating a new faculty out of people from 6 different buildings. Since August we have been working together to build a healthy culture for the building, and I have always felt very positive leaving those days. That all changed today. At the risk of venting, here are the things that are weighing on my mind and made today, in my opinion, seem more negative:

1. Teachers who complain that they don't have a voice but then complain that they just want somebody to tell them what to do.
2. Teachers who say that it's all about the kids but then talk about teaching configurations that will make less work for the adults.
3. Teachers who are just plain rude. If our students acted the way we acted today the same teachers who were talking would probably be the loudest ones flipping out.
4. Teachers who don't understand that building a good culture has to happen before we can decide upon schedules and teaching assignments.

Those were just my observations from the whole group, which were hard enough for me to work through on their own, but then I heard a side comment about me that really hurt. I've been really excited about what I'm doing this year. I thought I was just being a good colleague and sharing the things that are working well for me and the different activities I've found. Unfortunately the feeling among some is that I am a know-it-all who gets picked to do everything for one reason or another. That hurts. Really, really, really hurts.

I'm a teacher, a people pleaser. So any time somebody says something negative about me it bothers me. But this bothers me even more because I have specifically been trying NOT to be overenthusiastic to the point where I was pushy or being a know-it-all. I need to look back over my actions now and think: is this really something I've been doing, or is there another reason my coworkers feel this way.

While the day started out great, it did not at all end the way I thought it would. Time to reflect upon what I can do to positively impact the group without coming off in a pushy or all-knowing manner.

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