Sunday, December 30, 2012

My One Little Word

I've been going back and forth between a couple of different words, and as I was reading a few posts about One Little Word a few other contenders popped up. But as I thought more and more about it every word was speaking to me because it had a common theme, one of my original words.

After it appeared in many different ways my One Little Word for 2013, at the risk of appearing a bit selfish, is

SELF

Doesn't seem to quite fit the spirit of One Little Word, does it? Maybe not at first glance, but it makes a lot of sense to me.

As I reflected back upon everything that has happened in 2012 I saw many things I couldn't control, situations where I had no voice. As that happened I stopped speaking up. And when I did there were many times where people told me my perceptions of their actions were wrong when it was just a different way of looking at things. I put my happiness and the things that I wanted and needed second (or third or fourth or even fifth) to the happiness and needs of others. Or I disconnected. I could have said something but didn't. I could have reached out but kept things inside. I did what made others happy even when it made me unhappy. And I based too much of my worth on comparisons with others instead of simply looking into myself and seeing my own accomplishments.

What I realized as I was trying to pick a word is that each word I was considering spoke to me being true to myself. Of me finding the person who has gone away. To me being better for me so that I can be a better wife, daughter, friend, sister and teacher.

So as selfish as it may seem to somebody not wearing my size 11s, 2013 is going to be about focusing on me and everything that I can accomplish once I do that. I'm not exactly sure what that will look like, but I am excited to find out.

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