Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's Hard to Be Positive

I like to try and always look on the positive side. I wouldn't say I'm the eternal optimist. I am realistic, but I don't see the point of dwelling on the negative. But lately being positive is getting harder and harder.

I'll be honest, there is nothing I can do about any of this negativity. I have no power to hire more teachers, prevent furloughs, or fix the budget problems. I can't assign people to buildings or grade levels or tell teachers what grade or subject they will be teaching next year. As much as I want to, I cannot wave the magic wand and stop all of the stupid cancer from eating away at people who are important to me. Since I'm not a handy-girl, I won't be fixing the leaks, replacing roofs or building new homes. And unless I win the lottery, there won't be any quick fixes for these problems. I can't do anything about any of this stuff, yet I can't walk away from it. It's at home. It's at school. It's online. The negative is everywhere.

It's like a rocking chair you can't reach in a breeze. It just keeps rocking and rocking, and there is nothing you can do about it.

What's most upsetting about all of this is how it's affecting me. I know I'm not myself, and I know that because of that I am not as patient with my kids. Granted, this LONG stretch without a break has them ready for a little vacation, too, but they don't deserve me being short for no reason. Just like me, they can't do anything about any of this so I shouldn't take it out on them.

So what can I do? My theory has been to try and do what I can to deal with things, but I'm writing today to remind myself of this. I can take my dogs for a walk with some great music playing and escape for a half hour or 45 minutes. I can keep trying to cook new and yummy foods and take care of myself physically. There are lots of uncensored Comedy Central specials to stream on Netflix and tasty beverages to be hard, and thankfully there are wonderful friends who love to go out and have fun with no mention of anything but good times.

And in the end, when all is said and done, I will focus on the people I care about and the students I love to teach because, like I've said before, these relationships are all that matters.

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